


Advice

by BuddyWritesFic



Category: Warhammer 40.000
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:41:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24777796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuddyWritesFic/pseuds/BuddyWritesFic
Summary: Fulgrim asks Horus for advice
Relationships: Fulgrim/Ferrus Manus
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

“Horus?”

“Hm?” He glanced toward the stripped body of the _Stormbird_ Fulgrim was giving a tune-up. His new little brother was on his back, elbow-deep in its guts, fair hair and skin protected by hooded oilskin coveralls.

“Our acquaintance has been short, but I’ve had much cause to admire your management. I’ve worked with a great number of managers, and may be considered a judge of such things. Your mastery is incomparable in my experience.”

Horus laughed. “You flatter me too much, child.”

“I do not exaggerate,” Fulgrim said, “although I may sometimes flatter. When I want something.”

Horus leaned over the railing and looked into the pit below. “What do you want, little silver-tongue?”

“Your counsel. I’ve seen that you command Russ to great effect. You wield him like a sword. But – forgive my bluntness – he neither loves nor fears you. Tell me how?”

So their new brother had a taste for soft skills? That was interesting. Certainly none of the others did, apart from him. “Oh, Leman’s fine,” he said. “A reliable general if ever there were one. Any time there’s a threat to his ego, he jumps at it.” He snapped his fingers. “Like that. When I need his attention, I wrap it in a challenge. Same way you get him to take medicine, you know, by wrapping it in bacon.”

“I suppose that would do it,” Fulgrim said. “Thank you.”

***

“I have come to forge the most perfect weapon ever created!” Fulgrim declaimed, bursting into the great forge beneath Mt. Narodnaya where Ferrus Manus was working. “And I will wield it in the Great Crusade!”


	2. Chapter 2

“I killed a lizard!” said Konrad Curze, pointing to the mammoth carcass of some foul xenos dracomorph sprawling on the rocky ground.

“I can see that,” said Vulkan. “Why?”

“Fulgrim told me to.”

“Why did Fulgrim tell you to kill a lizard?”

“I said I hate you.”

“Okay.”

Konrad looked from his brother to the dead lizard, and back to his brother again. “I hate you. Everyone loves you because you’re a good person, because you’re smart and nice and beautiful. I can’t stand it. Fulgrim said he knew what I meant. He said I should challenge you. And I know you do lizard challenge, so I killed it. You can’t kill a bigger one.”

Vulkan let out a long, tired sigh. “You’re right.”

“What?”

“I said you’re right. You got me. That’s the biggest lizard I ever seen. Can’t top it. You win.”

He turned and started walking away, to Konrad’s disappointment.


	3. Chapter 3

“I got you a present,” said the gaunt face on Vulkan’s dataslate.

“Is it a lizard?” Vulkan asked.

“That wasn’t a present,” Night Haunter snapped, “it was a challenge. Which you forfeited, and I won by default.”

“So not a lizard?”

“No!” His cheeks flushed. “It’s thirty billion civilians.”

“What?”

“They were in the way,” he said. “I know you like human civilians, so I kept them for you. Come get them.”

“No, I don’t want to _have –_ You _kept_ them? Where were they before you took them?”

“In. The. Way. I just said!” He pouted. “You never listen.”

“I’m listening now,” Vulkan said. “Tell me what happened.”

Night Haunter sighed. “The Deltan Confederate fleet was hiding ships in their star system, so I had to destroy the star system. I kept the civilians for you. Many are criminals, but I spared them too, because you don’t care about crime. Now come get them before they walk into traffic. They’re very dumb.”

“You’re on the other side of the galaxy. I can’t just –”

Tears gathered in Night Haunter’s eyes. He looked like he was about to do something spiteful.

“– get them right now,” Vulkan said, changing tack. “I can’t get them right now. So put them somewhere safe for me. Okay?”

“Safe?” Spite was replaced by confusion.

“Yes. That’s what you do when someone can’t get their present right away. You keep it safe. Put the people on a new planet. Or a system of several new planets. That aren’t currently inhabited,” he added, foreseeing the most likely of several ways his brother could interpret his instructions as a request for mass murder. “Somewhere away from the fighting. Give them food and construction materials. Enough that they’ll still be there when I come to visit.”

“You’ll visit them?”

“Yep. But I don’t know when. Could be a while. So give them extra food, okay?”

“Okay.” Night Haunter tried to hide that he was wiping his eyes. “It’s a good present? You like it?”

“I am very glad you didn’t kill them,” Vulkan agreed carefully.

“You’re not lying so you and your friends can laugh about it later?”

“Is that what you think friends do?”

“...no. I have lots of friends. We…” Night Haunter took some time to find the next words. “...make weapons. And use weapons together. Non-lethally. It’s very fun, and you’re not invited. Bye!”

The call ended. Vulkan let out a long, tired sigh.

“Shoulda just taken the lizard,” he muttered.


	4. Chapter 4

Fulgrim nodded thoughtfully as he listened to Konrad’s account. “It does sound encouraging,” he said. “Maybe we’d count that as half? He didn’t care for the challenge, and he half-cared for the present?”

“Half isn’t enough!” Konrad said. “What do I do?” His hatred for Vulkan stung him constantly, a maddening gadfly of a feeling. He ached to be released from it.

“Hm.” Fulgrim thought on his own romantic experience. “Makeover?” he suggested. “We could try something with your hair. And we could get you some new outfits. You’d be charming in fur.”

“Don’t worry about clothes,” Ferrus said from his seat on Fulgrim’s couch. “Clothes don’t matter.”

Fulgrim rolled his eyes. “Don’t listen to him. Of course they do. Why would humanity invent clothes if they didn’t have a purpose?”

“I have never once cared what you’re wearing,” Ferrus insisted. This hurt Fulgrim’s pride, but he didn’t raise the subject, and Ferrus didn’t ask. “Vulkan won’t care what Konrad wears, either.”

“You like the white robe,” Fulgrim said.

“You have like fifty white robes, brother.”

“You like the _little_ white robe.”

“Oh, that one!” Ferrus nodded. “Yeah, I like that it don’t get in the way.” He turned back to Konrad. “But that’s not your problem. Your problem is you don’t have any skills.”

Konrad crossed his arms defensively. “I’d challenge you to a murder-off to prove you wrong,” he said, “but you’d think it was a come-on.”

“No, not murder. Real skills. Metallurgy, weapon crafting, robotics. Vulkan’s a master artisan. He’ll want a guy with skills.”

Konrad looked at Fulgrim to see what he thought.

Fulgrim sighed. “Vulkan isn’t as _fixated_ on the forging of weapons as some people,” he glared at Ferrus, “but he does appreciate a fellow creator. Would you like to learn more about smithing?”

“If you think it will help,” Konrad said.

Fulgrim clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s go to the forge, then. You come too, Ferrus. You’re my co-teacher.”

Ferrus grunted, but he rose and followed them.

“And _then_ the makeover!”


End file.
